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Glen Allen Armfield

April 10, 1957 - October 10, 1998

To Glen, my husband, who I realized too late how much that I love you. There is not a day that passes that you are not with me, in heart, soul and mind. If only the hands of time could be reversed -- a year and 3 months. We would be together, loving and living as we had before! But time stands still for no man, and we are no exception. We play by the rules as everyone else.

Decisions are made each day. Decisions that, at times, profoundly affect others. I wish I would have known the final consequences of my decision, before it was made. I shall carry this burden of guilt, sorrow and regretfulness for eternity. It is the price I have to pay for the fateful decision I made. From all that God has given us, I regret deeply what I have done to you and everyone that loves you. Glen, I will never accept forgiveness for the events that have followed, nor do I expect it.

Our marriage of ten years was not always good, but you never gave up. You were always there for me. When I had a nightmare and awoke crying or frightened, you would hold me close and softly whisper to me, telling me that I was safe with you, that everything was fine. I would drift off to sleep, these promises softly echoing in my ears. I am having nightmares more frequently now, they are the same -- I wake crying, frightened -- reaching over for you -- but you are not there. So, I fall asleep, with tear filled eyes and deep regret, missing you.

Each day that I manage to struggle through without you only serves as a reminder of the days I must live without you and the pain I created. I pray that the tears I shed each day will form a river to Heaven. When I die, I will sail to you in Heaven, on my river of tears. That day will be glorious! We will be together again! No more pain, guilt or sorrow! Only love and happiness for eternity!

With each sunrise I recall the last time I saw you. The sorrow floods my soul. Tears fill my eyes and I pray that the events of that night could be changed! But, I cannot change the past. Every moment that I live without you, I live with the guilt of my sins. I have no peace. I pray that death will bring me peace. I will die with this burden I created and carry it heavily in my soul! It will be the constant reminder of my fateful decision.

The love and tears I have for you will continue throughout eternity.
Glen Allen Armfield, I will love you forever!
Your Wife: Diane Gail Armfield