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RAY CARROLL CHILDREE JR.
FEBRUARY 3,1980
OCTOBER 22,1996

My son Ray was a very active and out going teenager. With may
friends who loved him dearly. His death was a very hard on us all. You see he
was the baby and will always be my baby. He really did not like for me to
call him baby. Ray had one brother Marshall(P-Nut) and three sisters
Tracy, Melissa and Angela they were all hurt very deeply from hurt from his
death. He also had three nieces Mariah, Sierra and Alexandra
and two nephews Steven and Joey at the time of his death it hit them
really hard too for he was crazy about them all and was always spending as
much time with them as possible. Since his death he's had two more nephews
born Wesley and "Austin Ray" his name sake. All of his friends called him
"Ray-Ray".Ray loved to play and watch basketball every chance he had. He
loved going to the beach and spending time with his family. We never saw this
coming. We did not know that he was this low in his life that he felt like he
had to take his life. He shot his self in the stomach with his 30-30 which
hit the main artery to his heart. We were told he did not suffer and that did
help know this but it never stop the hurting and wanting to understand why
he felt like this was his last choice. It has been 6 years and 6 months and I
don't think my hurt has let up any for my heart is just so empty without my
baby. I fell like I am just lost in another world.

====================================================

THIS IS A POEM THAT I FOUND AFTER RAY'S DEATH THAT HE WROTE AND AFTER FINDING IT I THINK HE MUST HAVE BEEN HURT FOR A VERY LONG TIME AND HAVE HIM FEEL THAT HE NEEDED TO TAKE HIS ON LIFE FOR YOU CAN FEEL HIS PAIN IN HIS WORDS HERE.
I HAVE SIGNED AND DATED IT JUST AS IT WAS ON THE PAPER I FOUND. I JUST PRAY TO GOOD MYSELF THAT HE IS LOOKING AFTER MY BABY FOR ME:

HEAVEN AND HELL
Sometimes I want to go to Heaven and
then there's other times I wish I could
go straight to Hell. I guess those are the times I'm not feeling so well.
I feel the devil is evil, cruel and really bad. And if I was in Hell I'd only sit and wish of what I could have had.
And I know the Lord knows what's best. I know he never sees me praying unless I need everything off my chest.
Lord you are my Shepard and only you know what I really wanted. If your thinking of sending me to Hell Lord, please don't.
In Heaven with you is where I wanna be. Your my Shepard so while I'm Earth please protect me.
My Lord, may one day I get to see you. But until that day like I said before, please protect me, Too.
Ray Carroll Childree Jr.
4/11/96~~11:46am


Melba/Mom of Ray Jr.
Forever~~16~~
2/3/1980--10/22/1996
You Can Visit Him Here
RAY CARROLL CHILDREE JR.

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They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it... Death cannot kill that which never dies. ~ William Penn

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